Why Me?

                                                “Above and Beyond”                       24×30

“Who do you think you are to tackle this subject?”  “Everyone is going to know that you’re a fraud.”   “Who made you the expert?”  These are the questions of self-doubt I hear as I prepare to speak to my local arts council on the subject of social media/networking for artists.

As I have been working on my presentation I have found myself questioning my ability to tackle such a subject.   What do I have to say that someone can’t find out for themselves through conversation, exploration, time spent on the computer?  Wrestling with my level of expertise has opened my eyes to an area of qualification that does not involve knowledge or experience.   It is the willingness to share that qualifies me.  I’m afraid that all too often we artists become hoarders.  We hoard our materials, our sources, our galleries, our techniques, even our successes in fear that any or all might be stolen and another artist could become more successful or popular.

I may not be a social networking guru, but I have gathered a few crumbs and tidbits along the way.  A crumb of knowledge.  A tidbit of experience.  My crumb could be what unlocks a new opportunity for someone.  My experience could save another hours of time pursuing something to no avail.

I will gladly share what I’ve learned on my art biz journey.   There is, after all, that story where crumbs and tidbits were multiplied to feed thousands.  Call it what you will: paying it forward,  the law of reaping and sowing, volunteerism, karma, etc.. It’s why you will find me at the county library this Friday morning,  sharing what I know and hoping to pick up a few new crumbs and tidbits to add to my basket as the conversation continues beyond my knowledge or experience.

Long Days and Hard Work

 

I know, I know, nobody said it would be easy.  It’s just amazing to me sometimes just how much hard work and long hours go into this business we call art.  I am in the midst of preparing for a pretty significant show (Penrod Arts Fair in Indianapolis) followed by a presentation of my three decades of being an art professional(Art:  Up Close and Personal sponsored by the Arts Council of Williamson County).  Oh and by the way, delivery of a major commission piece (finished:  see photo).  Most days I thrive on being busy.  After all, I hate being bored.  Lately however it seems I am trying to tell myself not to stress more often than not.

At our last art show, my husband encountered a gentleman (I use the term loosely) who suggested that all of the artists did this kind of thing as a hobby.  Can I just say that nobody but nobody puts themselves through what we professional artists do for the fun of it?  Do I love the gypsy train?  Indeed.  Do I appreciate that I make a living doing something that I’m passionate about?  Absolutely!  Is it grueling at times and mindless at other?  Too true!

Don’t get me wrong.  I wouldn’t trade my profession for another….ever!  As I posted last week (or was that two weeks ago???) I know that I know I was created to express myself artistically.  That said, I think there is a misconception that all we professional artists do is play all day.  Painting is fun;  it is the play part of the job.  Varnishing, wiring, framing…not so much.  Powerpoint presentations, email newsletters, social media marketing….work.

When your passion becomes your profession there will be long days and hard work if you want to succeed.  It goes with the territory.  Business plans, profit and loss statements, marketing strategies are all a part of the business of art.  Dare I say they are the work that balances the play.  But oh the pay off when a customer falls in love and has to have a painting I’ve created.  Then suddenly all of the hours melt away.  All of the hard work seems easy.  In other words it’s all worth the effort.  So to the studio I go to teach and paint and label and load up and…and…and…  Guess I’ll sleep well tonight!

Addiction and Recovery

Quotes from the week in the studio:  “Your use of color is fearless.  I love it!”  “You must be some kind of genius.”  “We wish we could do that!”  These are particular interesting to me this week as I’ve been tracing my career for an upcoming presentation for the Arts Council of Williamson County called ART:  Up Close and Personal. What has run through my mind is the eight year old Deborah telling people “I’m good (as in a good student) at everything but PE and Art.”  So, okay I haven’t become an athlete although I DO know what I’m talking about when it comes to football.  So how did I get from there to here?

The first step of any recovery is recognizing the addiction.  “My name is Deborah Gall and I am a recovering artist.  I am addicted to expressing myself creatively.”   It all began when I was a little girl and longed to let out that which stirred within me.  It would be decades before I recognized this as the need to create.  I searched for my creative voice through crafts and music and ultimately landed in the midst of a pile of fabric and thread.  Quilting became what fed my addiction.   However, in the midst of commissions, teaching, writing, and speaking I could not use the term”artist” to describe myself.  My tongue would get tied in knots and the word simply stuck in my throat.  When a gallery owner used the “A” word and commissioned a piece for her home I began to speak the word, but it felt like sawdust in my mouth and I was certain I was being branded as delusional.

Then, in 1995, someone introduced me to two books:  Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”  and Madeleine L’Engle’s “Walking on Water”.  Voila!  My life changed as I began the 12 step recovery that Cameron outlines for recovering creatives.  She uses the term blocked, but for me it was more than being blocked, it was at the very core of my identity.  Within the pages of those volumes I found my tribe!  I was not alone in the (somewhat strange) way I looked at life or interpreted my surroundings.   Most inprotantly I found value to the very thing I was addicted to…creative expression.  L’Engle’s subtitle “Reflections of faith and art” summarized what I had desperately been trying to put together unsuccessfully in my heart and life.  I was transformed!

As I recovered my sense of safety, identity, power, integrity, possibility, abundance, connection, strength, compassion, self-protection, autonomy, and faith (all chapters/steps in Cameron’s book) I gained the freedom to say without apology or explanation that I was, am, and will always be an artist.   It is not something I do.  It is something I am.  This is recovery that feeds the addiction.  Backwards perhaps, but effective none the less.  With that…think I’ll go paint.

Photo above is part of a triptych I am currently working on.  It will hang in the same office as this pair called “Sara’s Sky”.  Sara purchased the left panel a year ago and commissioned the right panel to continue the design and form a square.  The art plan for her office is coming along nicely don’t ya think?

If you’re in the area I’ll be speaking at Williamson County Public Library on Monday, September 12 6-7:30 p.m.

Click the links above to start your own recovery.  Enjoy the ride!